There are many reasons why school districts get away without providing proper education to our children. But these three reasons are parents focused. They stress on what we can do as parents to ensure our children are provided appropriate education.

As parents we have tremendously busy lives. Managing kids, their activities, our jobs, our household, our extended family … this list has just begun. You know that. And then we have Parent Teacher Conferences, where the teacher tells us our kids are doing great, and yes, many are. Some teachers also point out areas our children need more support in. This support is provided to them through IEPs, 504s, and other mechanisms.

Then why is that we sometimes have this nagging feeling in back of our minds and in the pits of our stomach, that our child doesn’t exactly know all the things they should.

Why do they continue to struggle with reading? Or Math? Or Writing? Or Comprehension? or making friends?

If the school is saying they are doing everything, then why are the children struggling? Have you ever wondered about it?

Maybe you have, maybe you haven’t. I certainly have. I have 3 reasons so far. As a parent …

• I don’t know what questions to ask.
• I put blind trust in our administrators and our educators.
• I don’t know all my rights as a parent.

I don’t know what questions to ask

Collectively as parents, we need to get smarter.

When we walk into that room for the Parent Teacher conference, we need to know what questions to ask the teacher. The conference should not be one sided conversation where the teacher talks and the parent gives occasional polite nods. No, it shouldn’t be a war room either. But we need to run our own assessment and walk in with a one-pager of our thoughts and observations at home of our child.

That one pager should include:

• What is our child doing well?
• What is our child struggling with? Are the struggles academic? social? emotional?
• What is the school currently doing to help with the struggling areas?
• What else can the school do to facilitate the growth of the child?
• How will you be able to tell when your child is at the same level as their peers in the areas of struggles?

The conference should be more like a meeting of minds where parents and teachers come together as equal partners in the child’s growth and development. Think of the conference as progress check, an opportunity for course correction if necessary, and modify tools and resources (again, if necessary).

I put blind trust in our administrators and our educators

Well, they are THE experts at educating our children, are they not? They’ve spent decades learning how to teach better, have they not? Then why? Why do our children keep struggling with the same things year after year? Why are the MCAS scores sliding every year?

(Don’t accept COVID disturbance to education as an excuse. MCAS scores have been sliding before, during and after COVID.

Let me also make one thing clear – 99% of teachers and administrators walk into schools, across the country, every morning with the pure intention of doing the very best to educate our children. And they do. They do their very best at educating out children.

The question that lingers (often unspoken) is … Is their best, enough for some of our children? Because some kids need a lot more help than others do.

When a child is coasting along, being promoted to upper grades without having the skills to cope alongside their peers, is that acceptable? I think not, because the more this happens, more the child slides back.

I am fortunate to live in a district where I don’t see this happening often. But that’s not the case across the country.

Here’s what I am asking in this section – Accountability. People don’t like that if they know they’re purposely doing the wrong things. People who do the right things have no problem with this word – Accountability.

Trust the schools, but verify the child’s progress independently. And when you don’t see the progress as expected, ask for additional services because you have that right as a parent.

I don’t know all my rights as a parent

Do you know how many times a year you can request a meeting with the teacher?

If your child is on IEP (an Individualized Education Program), can you have more than one meeting a year?

Did you know if your child is struggling and needs extra support, you could ask the school for an evaluation?

Did you know a parent can file a complain with the state if the school is repeatedly ignoring requests for support?

As a parent, one of the most important things we can do is know our rights. Because if we don’t we will agree to everything without questioning anything. And do you know who that hurts? Not the school, or us as parents (well, maybe a little). But it hurts the children. It hurts them most.

Know your rights. Know what to accept. Know what not to accept. Know when to ask for help. Who to ask for help, and How to ask for help. Because, sometimes asking for help is required in writing, and if you don’t do that, school is not obligated to help your child.

In Conclusion

The greatest thing we can do for our children is become their voice and advocate for them till they develop a voice for themselves. Know your rights. Trust the schools but independently verify the progress. And walk into your meetings with your one pager.