Category: Emotional Growth

Stop Telling Children Not to Get Angry

If you have children you already know that children make it their life’s mission to do exactly what you tell them not to do. While I understand telling a child not to get angry is an exercise in futility, there is a better reason why we should not tell children not to get angry.

Anger is an emotion. Controlling one’s feelings so you don’t allow yourself to express that emotion is a recipe for disaster.

I know. For I did this (not expressing emotions) for decades till one day I figured out that it was one of the dumbest thing I could ever do.

Rather than controlling the expression of anger, let’s help them understand it, and show them how to channel it in a better direction. Anger is a force, a destructive energy by its very nature, unless you mold it and learn how to harness it for growth and productivity. The Chinese call it “Chi” or “Qi”. If you don’t like the direction its flowing in, mold it and send it in a different direction.

So rather than telling children to stop getting angry, provide them a framework to process that anger.

Here’s a basic framework to get started:

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On God, Faith and Religion

Disclaimer – The purpose of this post is not to offend anyone, but rather to cause all to think.

Question all that you are taught about god, religion and faith.

Not because god, faith and religion are faulty, no.

But because there are far too many faults with those teaching them.

While many tout their virtues unabashedly, few practice them religiously.

All religions have a singular purpose – To provide peace of mind.

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Some Thoughts on Special Education Advocacy

Hiring a Special Education Advocate who will stand up for your loves ones when they cannot is an amazing thing you can do for your children.

For those among us who are financially blessed, this is a good option. You voice your concerns to your advocate, and the advocate will ensure quality services are provided in a timely and appropriate manner.

However, not everyone is equally blessed financially. So, not everyone can afford to hire an advocate.

One thing that we all have is our voice.

Using our voice requires courage.

Courage can be difficult to muster often when most needed.

Using courage has two requirements – you cannot be timid, and you should be okay if someone dislikes you for standing up.

This usually isn’t a problem for people who have the knowledge and information to back up their beliefs, their concerns.

Knowledge helps build courage.

Become knowledgeable and use your voice to get the outcomes you need.

Knowing your rights and knowing how and when to exercise them is one of the most powerful things you can do when advocating for your loved ones.

The “Should Will Am Did” Cycle

I should be doing it.

I will do it.

I am doing it.

I did it.

Let’s read it again.

I should be doing it … is Awareness

I will do it … is Intention

I am doing it … is Action

I did it … is Accomplishment

Four Stages of Everything

These apply to brushing your teeth on the morning.

These apply to going through a certification audit at work.

These apply to getting married.

These apply to switching jobs or careers.

These apply to building a business.

These apply to literally everything … writing a book, creating music, taking a stroll down the road, anything.

Journeys between the stages

Distance between each stage is a journey.

In my experience, traveling from “Should” to “Will” is not that big of a journey.

Traveling from “Will” to “Am” takes a long time. This is all about mental preparedness. If one is not mentally prepared to take this journey, this journey will never happen. The cycle is stuck at the corner of “Will” and “Am”.

Traveling from “Am” to “Did” is about persistence, consistency, intelligence and hard work. For a few lucky ones, this is a breeze. For the rest of us, it takes longer.

The beginning part of this journey is usually an uphill, without the upcoming downhill in sight. The terrain is rocky, and weather can be unpredictable. Yet, once you get through the initial bumps, the clouds move aside, and the ride becomes pleasant and fulfilling.

That’s when you get to the “Did” stage.

The “Did” stage is also a Decision stage. Do you stay and bask in your glory, or do you venture onto another journey?

I think this idea has the potential to turn into a book. Still mulling over it.


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